Bonus Election Coverage

Here’s what college football fans may have liked to see at the polls on November 4. If only voting for the Heisman was like voting in the presidential election…

LIBERAL TICKET
Heisman Candidate: Graham Harrell
Running Mate: Michael Crabtree
Campaign Headquarters: Lubbock, TX
Path to the Heisman: Harrell emerged from a highly competitive primary in the state of Texas a week ago. He faced one of his toughest challengers in fellow liberal player Colt McCoy and was actually tabbed as the underdog. However, thanks to an efficient campaign and a popular, last-second move by running mate Michael Crabtree, Harrell emerged victorious.
Candidate Statement: I believe in liberal football – lots of passing, lots of scoring. An offense should control a game and intervene when others are struggling or experiencing hardships. My offense has engineered many effective initiatives throughout this season with complete success thus far. I believe resources such as touchdowns should be evenly distributed, and I’m willing to make cuts when I carry the load myself. Finally, I believe in universal ball care, as evidenced by my 5 interceptions.

CONSERVATIVE TICKET
Heisman Candidate: Tim Tebow
Running Mate: Percy Harvin
Campaign Headquarters: Gainsville, FL
Path to the Heisman: Tebow is the incumbent running for reelection. His campaign is focused on his experience as Heisman winner and what he has done for the college football world. Although his numbers are more modest now than they were during his previous term, Tebow’s party has reached a higher overall level of success and is one of the best in the country.
Candidate Statement: I believe in conservative football – run the ball when you can, pass the ball when it’s advantageous. I’m a multi-faceted candidate and I prefer to mix things up a bit. Last year it seemed to work out, as I achieved numbers rarely before reached by anyone in my position. My running mate has experience keeping the campaign grounded, as well as helping it take flight, but I’m not afraid to take control myself. We have been campaigning through the Southeast with almost unanimous results, and we would like to add you to our long list of supporters.

Don’t worry if your candidate of choice is not listed above; that’s what the write-in line is for. Just get out there and VOTE!